when in reality they look like this:
and i’m just sitting there like:
i’ve never laughed so hard at a tumblr post before.
Rehabilitating penguins wearing sweaters
omg the penguin publishers one.
the shocking truth is revealed
"go away mom, i’m eating commander crunch"
wanna know what a cow looks like washed and blow dried?
that is what a cow looks like washed and blow dried
FLUFFY MILK HORSE
fluffy milk horse
5’1” and proud
that’s how I wanna go
Okay but if you read the article he wasn’t stabbed
he literally walked into the blade thinking it was a toy and not that it was a replica actual sword
HE LITERALLY WALKED INTO MY SWORD OFFICER
HE WALKED INTO MY SWORD TEN TIMES
when i was in year 5, i did a speech on clumsiness for my school’s public speaking contest and to be clever, i tripped on my way to the stage dropping my note cards all over the place, but then i pulled the real ones out of my pocket saying ‘if you’re going to be clumsy, it pays to be prepared!’
everyone lost their shit and i got second place